Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
