I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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