I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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