come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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