literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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