I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
God, I missed his penis.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
