Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
