tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
