I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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