he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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