I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
