dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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