my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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