SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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