I got chris browned last night
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
