are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
