airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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