I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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