so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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