she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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