You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
