I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
