Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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