are you still at the devil's house?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
do herpes really smell.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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