Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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