It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We left the knife in your bed.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
