you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
