Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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