It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize