It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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