At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
