The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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