he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
