but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
