My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize