it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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