We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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