You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
