got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
