Well douche your snatch and let's go!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
