They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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