guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
