Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
