Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
