I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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