Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
