i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
