Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
