ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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