Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
