Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
