I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
