I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
