Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
