i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize