We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
