The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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