my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
