so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
