she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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