ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
