I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
