How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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