the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
