I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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