Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
